Going Global

Karuna Amman took some time off of his busy schedule to have an interesting little chat with us recently.  Here are some choice excerpts;

On his latest career move...

'Ah well its been an interesting career move, joining the Sri Lankan parliament. Sure we all had our good times running around in the jungles of Vanni shooting both the LTTE and the Government troops but my rebellious days are over, i have realized that it is time to shoulder responsibility and take a stand. I had been contemplating it for quite a while and can safely say after being on both sides that the perks are much better over here! Prabha even skimps on the AC. and we all know how hot it is over there. I think we can be extremely proud of how this nation treats its public servants. when even in England, as i observed when i was there, they are made to travel in (face contorting with painful remembrance) public transport. Eww!'

On his critics..

'People will always criticize anyone if it is advantageous to them. I don't really care about my critics. it is now time for us all to get together and develop the nation. And if they have a problem with me, they can pay me a visit on the east coast and i will show them what real hospitality is. When im done with them they wouldn't be able to walk straight or sit down for the rest of their term in parliament would surely see the error of their ways and work towards my goal of peace and development.'


On life in general..

'Ah life? well i have always been a trigger happy gun toter an engaging person. That's what I was born to be and my life has been an interesting heavy duty tank roller coaster ride so far. The days I spent in the jungles as a rebel running from both sides were some of the best in my life (smiles fondly with a faraway look in his eyes), but I eventually realized that I couldnt pursue what I felt was my ultimate purpose in life, and that is to destroy the rest of humanity help my fellow human beings, and feeling that i had outgrown the LTTE in terms of my capabilities as a person i was on the lookout for new opportunities. That's when my good friend the president approached me and offered me a post in his bloodthirsty noble institution. And here i am!'

And the Future?

'Ah the future is full of opportunity! i have plans to eventually take over the country launch a campaign to develop the East. Those good people really need to be killed for their own good to be assisted. And i am calling all my fellow politicians and new countrymen to forget the past. I have big plans for you. Embrace me and my policies we shall greet the golden age of Karunaland Sri Lanka together!'

Certain sections in this post have been subject to censorship. Mr. Amman was a bit maerry just after his parliamentary initiation bash and might have er, 'blabbed' a bit.